Todd Regoulinsky

life in between u-turns

this old feeling hangs on me like an old coat:
a patch for every love lost,
a stitch for each heart beat —
draped over shoulders that have shouldered too much,
hanging loosely like a quilt of memories
without the fondness & color
to keep me company.

i'm wearing it now, sitting at the keys
when there's a familiar knock
from a particularly jagged patch —
back again without an invitation;
but there’s not much left to do
except invite her in for a drink
is there? after all,
hope & stupidity 
springs eternal.

this old feeling has me hostage:
arms wrapped in cavernous sleeves,
moving in ways i'm unfamiliar with —
i'm at gunpoint again
but it's somewhat comforting —
like a terrible diagnosis,
knowing how much time is left on the clock,

each kiss is like a new beginning
right before the kill.

Soundtrack

sometimes, 
in the distant crossfade of moments,
i wonder what the soundtrack of my life is . . .

would it be the looping waltz 
of her breathing?
the rise & fall of blankets a gentle shuffle
of feet on the dance floor?

perhaps the tango
of when another told me
that there'd never be enough of me
to go around — 
never enough to make
good on all the promises?

maybe the electric guitar crunch
of any number of battles
pouring out of hell's loudspeaker —
neighbors keeping time
on the walls & ceiling?

or maybe the empty resting space
when music breaths —
the times when all wasn't well
but good enough, a bit
of peace to catch breath
& reflect on the previous song?

maybe it's the pop & scratch
of the needle dropping
onto the record 
for the first time —
& the anticipation
of what will come.

Todd Regoulinsky is a graphic designer and musician who has been writing poetry for some 30 years. In 2023, he published his second book called "okay okay okay" — a collection of poems inspired by people's last words that manages to walk the thin line between the maudlin and shooting a wicked grin at our own mortality. His books are available for purchase at www.toddwritespoetry.com.