Juheon Rhee
MOvie
At night, I wanted to leave my body
Bruised till tender, behind
that lapis pavement before the great house
I used to live in. Do you remember, when I was
everything, until I was not?
I remember, when I could break language,
into poetry, when I could dance and love
scream: tragic adolescence
because it was untrue.
I wanted to be free, American flag that
could claw the air: nitrogen and oxygen
created something palpable.
Full and porcelain my skin tan, I smelled like
the beach and the corals, the poker cards
I didn’t know my dad kept back of the pantry,
the cancer that grew on my mom’s throat
like love.
Fruit infused soju, burnt toast because
I can’t cook. 17, I remember when I was still
sexless. I danced like Adam and Eve,
religion was a construct,
desperation a forgotten train wreck.
I watched it from the windowsill,
people screaming, anarchy like a movie.
The great house collapses but people
keep laughing, smiling. Movie people.
I hold my body like a rope. I trudge along
the great house, its lapis pavement.
Alone, tragic adolescence. My voice
crumbles into tones into static. Body
decapitated into frames into pixels.
Let’s watch the movie.
Remainder
I am remembering your hands
when I am digging through the soil.
Barely a feet deep, I lay the hare’s
taupe carcass. Like your daughter
I smother that creature with dirt. Until
the hole remains but the body doesn’t.
I’m scared to smell,
my hands that consumed.
Odor— feces and vomit and
The hare was alive till you shot it
between its eyes. Its creature-eyes
blinked before it stilled. You
dragged that animal by its ears
tossed it above the fence and its
solid body could only fall. You must
have heard it hit the bottom.
Because I heard it too,
behind you.
So you love me with tenderness
you murdered that animal.
And I love you with ruthlessness
I bury. Your killing. That creature.
All that doesn’t remain.
Juheon Rhee is an 18-year-old writer residing in Waterloo. Her work has been published or is forthcoming in Indolent Books, 580 Split, Lunch Ticket, and Cleaver Magazine among others. She has also received nominations for her works, such as the Best of the Net Nomination.